Mustard

Mustard appears in a variety of Unexpected Podcast episodes, beginning with Ep. 3, "The Strange Music of Derrick Zugg". The meaning or purpose behind this mysterious condiment, along with why the jars are often "unopened", remains unknown.

Ep. 3, "The Strange Music of Derrick Zugg"
The narrator remarks on his neighbor's habit of leaving unopened jars of mustard out in his apartment as a way to describe the "squalor in which he lived".

"And at that moment, the odd gentleman with such wild hair and even wilder eyes let me into his abode. It was quite the sight, if I do say so myself. There was only but a mattress on the floor for him to sleep. On it was four open jars of mustard, with another three unopened."

Ep. 4, "Truth or Dare...or Death!"
Mustard is mentioned multiple times in this story. First to comment on the condiment is Mike, who mentions it while rummaging through a refrigerator looking for clues to his friends' disappearances.

"I’ll check the kitchen first, maybe they’re just having a midnight snack. Hey, Randy? Cal?...Greg? You guys there? Weird. The kitchen is empty. Is that...is that more blood on the handle of the fridge? OH JEEZ. It is! I’m afraid to open this door, who knows what could be inside? It looks empty, just some milk, cheese, and a couple jars of unopened mustard."

Later, when confronted about his mysterious absence, Greg uses the mustard as an alibi. Mike has a hard time believing it due to the nature of the jars being "unopened".

''"Our friends are gone and there’s a bloody knife in your hand! Why, Greg? Why?" ''

"I...I guess I must have cut myself while spreading some mustard. Is that so hard to believe?"

"Yes, Greg. It is. Those jars of mustard were unopened, and now you’re going to spread me out. For good!"

Ep. 5, "My Mayor is a Monster!"
In this episode, three teenage boys break into Mayor Elbert's house to find out if he's a monster. Jimmy finds the mustard in the mayor's refrigerator.

"I bet there’s something weird in his fridge! Let’s open it up. Hmm...just some milk, a few apples, a slice of huckleberry pie...and a couple jars of unopened mustard."

Ep. 6, "The Terrifying Tale of Tom Foolery"
Mustard as a prop itself is not used in this episode, yet it is mentioned multiple times as the narrator, Joe, talks about his ex-wife's mustard business, "Let's Get Mustarded".

"And yet, if I hadn’t stayed at that party for the five minutes it took to call my ex about picking up the mustard ingredients for her struggling homemade mustard business, unfortunately titled ‘Let’s get Mustarded’, Blaine might’ve not approached me with a sheet of paper that would change my life forever."

"I even smiled and said hello to Rick Tony when he accompanied my ex-wife to pick up her mustard. I was out of my mind!"

Ep. 7, "Be Careful What You Fish For"
The mustard prop is used very minimally in this episode, mentioned just once, though it's during the pivotal climax of the show as Ronda is waiting for her husband to return from his ill-fated fishing trip with her former lover.

"Where are those guys? I’m starting to get a little worried. Out there all alone on the lake. So misty and cold. On such a quiet night, where you can hear the crickets and loons as if they were right beside you. And it’s dark too, dark as ink, or a black hole, maybe. Well, I guess I’ll maybe make a sandwich to make these pregnancy cravings go away. Hey, did we forget to buy mustard?"

Ep. 8, "This American Knife"
During an interview segment of the show, Average American Tales, a guest named Dan recalls all the industries in which he served as a salesman.

"I’ve had guys see me do well in sales before and try to get me in on their new, big opportunity. I’ve done it in a few industries; sports card memorabilia, mustard, even mobile homes."

Ep. 9, "The Dead Man's Dead Man's Hand"
In one of Ace Butler's many metaphors, he uses the condiment as part of an explanation to describe how delighted he is.

"Well I’ll be a frankfurter in a fat boy’s fist after he’s dunked me in mustard, rolled me in relish, and squeezed me in a bun!"